Passionate Pursuit of Purpose

Finding Destiny

Are Money and Time equal?

Posted by on May 29, 2013 in Character Development, Finding Destiny, Leadership, Personal Finance | 0 comments

Are Money and Time equal?

We often here the phrase used that “time is money,” (Is this true?)

Many of us work jobs or have worked jobs where we were paid for the time we put in.  We clocked hours and were paid, no matter how much or how little we did.  So most of us have at least traded our time for money; but does that mean our time is equal to money?  Are they the same thing?

Can you use this to buy more time?

Can you use this to buy more time?

What is money?

Money is a tool or store of value that we use to exchange for goods, services, or gifts.  Money can be made of a rare and valuable asset, such as gold or silver coins.  It can also be backed by those valuable assets.  Until 1971 you could trade your U.S. Dollars for a fixed amount of gold and/or silver.

Most money today, has very little intrinsic value.  It is called fiat money meaning it has value because of a decree by the issuing nation.

Attributes of Money:

  • Can be traded for a good or service we desire
  • No intrinsic value (in most cases today)
  • It is easy to create more
  • It can be accumulated for future use
  • Infinite possibility

What is time?

Time is a unit of measure that scientists struggle to understand.  We all know it exists, and yet we don’t understand why or how.  If you want to learn more here is a complex article and blog about the topic (click here)

Attributes of Time:

Do you know what happened to your 168 hours last week

Do you know what happened to your 168 hours last week?

  • Can be traded for money, goods, or services
  • Its individual determines how much they value their own time
  • Each of us has a limited time of existence on earth
  • We cannot store time (once it passes it can never be used again). We can only use a moment in the moment.  Once that moment has passed we can never use it again.
  • While time may be infinite, we only have a finite amount

Can we trade money for time?

We can trade our time for money, but no matter how much money you have you can’t buy more time (with the exception of healthcare treatments that can prolong your life).    You can’t use your money to redo a past time in your life.  Once you have spent time, that expenditure is permanent.  No refunds, no exchanges!!!

 

With No Refunds, No Exchanges, what are you doing to spend your time wisely?

What is more valuable to you? Money or Time?

 

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3 methods to Giving Critical Feedback (without Destroying the Relationship)

Posted by on May 22, 2013 in Character Development, Faith, Finding Destiny, Leadership | 2 comments

3 methods to Giving Critical Feedback (without Destroying the Relationship)

When I was 19 years old I was madly in lust with this sexy 17 year old high school dropout.  She was my first real girlfriend and I thought I was in love.  After a few weeks I bought an engagement ring and was ready to propose.

Excitedly I called one of my best friends to tell him the “good news.”  He was a friend whom I trusted and respected a great deal.  When I asked him his thoughts, he wisely responded with a question “Are you moving a little to fast?”

Ask a Question

Ask a Question

That simple question saved me from making a tremendous mistake.  I was not ready, I was not in love, and getting married would have been awful for both of us.  The same friend would end being the best man in my wedding 10 years later.

He could have said a lot of things.  Told me I was an idiot, crazy, jumping off a cliff with nothing but rocks below, however he chose to ask a question.  Asking a question is one method to giving critical feedback without destroying your relationship.

In the bible there is a story about King David after he had committed adultery and murdered the woman’s husband to cover up his sin.  The prophet Nathan came to bring correction; to a man whom with a word could have Nathan killed.

So Nathan tells David a story of a rich man and a poor man.  The rich man had many sheep and cows, but the poor man had one lamb that he loved very much.  A visitor came to the rich man and the rich man took the poor man’s lamb and fed it to his visitor. 

Tell a story

Tell a story

Then Nathan asked a question of David, “what should happen to this rich man?” David indignantly replied “As the Lord liveth this man should die.” Nathan replied to David “you are the man!”  Read the entire story here

Here we notice that Nathan used a story to seriously judge King David’s actions.  His story opened the King’s eyes to the complete wickedness of his actions.  Storytelling is the second method of correction.

Sandwich the critique with Praise

Sandwich the critique with Praise

The third method is the sandwich method.  In this method you sandwich the criticism with praise.  You praise something that your friend did (this allows them to put their guard down).  Then you give them the Criticism.  Lastly you leave on a positive note by praising something else they did.

No matter which of these three methods you use, you must genuinely care about the person to have a chance of success.  Here are three attributes that are vital:

  1. Share with the right attitude
  2. You must have relationship and affirm that relationship
  3. Criticize actions not people

So next time you go to give criticism remember the three attributes and use one of the three methods (Asking a question, telling a story, or sandwich). As you implement these I believe it will help your friendships and relationship to grow to deeper levels and lead to greater success for all involved.

Would you like your friends to give you more feedback?  Read “Faithful are the wounds of a friend”.

Do you have people in your life that will give you feedback?  Who are they?  Can you increase that number?

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Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend

Posted by on May 21, 2013 in Character Development, Faith, Finding Destiny, Leadership | 0 comments

Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend

This ancient Hebrew proverb can have profound impact on the success of your life.   Good friends have the ability to see things in our life that need correction.  Often we are unable to see these things ourselves.  Good friends who care about you are will to point these out.

A real friend corrects you not to hurt you, but to help you be more successful

Picture a house with only one door to get in the house.  Now you are standing behind the home and can’t see that door.  You need in the house, so you start to go in through a window.  Your friend can see the front of the home and encourages you to use the door.  Immaturity will reply to that friend, “there is no door.”  We all see things from one perspective.  Your friend can show you options to achieve your goal that you may not see.  Friend can point out pitfalls we may not see.

Friends help us see things from a different point of view.

Friends complete our life picture

3 Keys to receiving faithful wounds from friends!

1.    Develop real Friendships

To receive faithful criticism, we first need close friendships.  Zig Ziglar would often say  “If you go out looking for friends, you’re going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”  If you put Zig’s quote into practice you will find friends.  Once you have friends invest in those relationships.


2.    Give them permission!

Give your good friends permission to give you honest feedback about your life.  Not every person should be given this permission, as some will abuse you out of their own pain or insecurity.  Your friends who should be given this permission often won’t speak up unless you ask for their feedback.  So it is vital that you give them permission.

3.    Gratitude

Thank your friends for caring and sharing their thoughts.  Even if you disagree, thank them.  Your friends will not always be correct.  However, if you show gratitude it will encourage them to give you more feedback in the future.

In the end your friends can’t live your life for you so the final decision is your responsibility.  If we want to achieve high levels of success in our life, critical feedback is vital.  We need relationships with others. People who see things from a different view point. This allows us to have a more complete picture.  A more complete picture allows us to make better decisions.

Also read  3 Methods to giving critical feedback!!!

Has criticism from a friend kept you from a bad decision (Tell us about it below)?

Have you ignored the advice of a friend and regretted that decision (tell us about it below)?

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Keeping your Siding Egg Free!

Posted by on May 14, 2013 in Character Development, Finding Destiny | 1 comment

Keeping your Siding Egg Free!

I’m around 8 years old and a new neighbor moves in next door.  I don’t remember ever talking to her personally but I do recall my parents talking to me about her.  Their statements were the echoes of her complaints about our going into her back yard to retrieve our balls.  Her fence was the home run fence.

I vaguely remember knocking on the door and receiving a dour response, it just seemed I was always in trouble.  I do recall her trying to keep one of our precious balls and it was a few weeks later she complained to my parents about some yellowish substance on her siding.  While I cannot with certainty disclose what substance it was, I can give you some keys to avoid having your siding covered in egg.

My friends and I weren’t mean or nasty kids, we just liked to play as most 8 year old boys do.  I am thoroughly convinced the mean old lady next door could have avoided much of her annoyance and definitely decreased the risk of egg ending up on her siding by doing a handful of things:Your generosity will open the door for reciprocity

  1.  Smile, it will disarm people and give them a warm impression of you
  2.  Offer a small gift, something as simple as a homemade cookie or piece of pie.  Your generosity will open the door for reciprocity 
  3. Initiate interaction, simple acknowledgment of their existence via a wave, or a short greeting will often give them a positive view of you

I am sure that these three steps would not only have kept the egg off her siding but could have produced other benefits. Around that same age, I helped a different neighbor rake their leaves (just because he talked to me when I rode my bike by his house).  

Possible benefits

  • Groceries brought in for her.
  • Her backyard not used as the home run fence.
  • Weeds pulled from her flower beds
  • And many more

Your kindness or lack thereof will oft be reciprocated.  This is especially true when dealing with immature people (such as children).   Your kindness could even keep egg from randomly finding its way onto your siding.

How have you ever experienced kindness bring reciprocity in your life?

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Wrap your sweatshirt around my waist and pull! (Finding your Center)

Posted by on Apr 24, 2013 in Character Development, Finding Destiny, Leadership | 0 comments

Wrap your sweatshirt around my waist and pull! (Finding your Center)

When I was in college I had the opportunity to dance with the Purdue repertory Dance company.  It was primarily a modern dance company.  Modern dance is a form of dance that is based on the concept of your Center. Meaning all movement starts and is an extension of the core structure of our bodies.  An understanding of how our spine, pelvis, and the small muscles, ligaments and tendons operate and function allow us to create ever greater movements.

Partnering with my favorite Dance partner

Partnering with my favorite Dance partner

The most powerful movements starts with very small muscles

These movements utilize the entirety of our body. They create dance that exudes a passion and emotion rarely found in forms of dance that don’t start from the core of our body.  Beginning my dance life as an adult rather than a child meant I had to unlearn years of moving from my head and shoulders and not my center. My first teacher was vital in this training.

This amazing dance teacher would drag me around the dance floor with her sweatshirt wrapped around my waist.  So I could feel what it was like to move from my pelvis instead of my head or shoulders.  Her investment in my life changed the way I have moved ever since. He helped in finding my center has helped reduce my back pain and be a more graceful dancer.  Holly helped change my life and I am forever grateful.

How this applies in everyday life

To live a fulfilling life of passionate purpose and destiny we need to be centered on core values and principles.  These provide the starting place where all our pursuits, interactions, and plans are derived. This core becomes our Center.

 Many people choose to go through life as windblown tumbleweeds. Allowing outside circumstances to determine where they go. They only react to their environment, instead of having a determined course of action in adverse circumstances.

Knowing our center enables us to respond and face the winds of adversity with purpose.

The more we develop and practice these core values and principles, the more power and strength we have to affect things outside of ourselves.  Like a well-trained dancer who misses a step or loses their balance knowing their Center will enable them to recover without an audience knowing.   Our core values and principles are the anchor when the winds and waves of adversity come our way.

Let others help you find your Center

Finding and developing these core muscles or core values will happen at a faster pace and with greater clarity if we have spouses, friends, coaches, parents, and pastor’s to help us find them and strengthen them.  We can’t use other peoples’ core values (nor would we want to).  We want to utilize their experience and questions to learn what our Center is.

Who is helping you find your center?

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What is the price of salvation?

Posted by on Apr 11, 2013 in Faith, Finding Destiny | 0 comments

What is the price of salvation?

Often people refer to salvation being free… and yet is it really free?  It is so true that you can’t buy salvation, and yet it can cost you everything you ever had or wanted. 

Salvation cost Christ pain, suffering, and ultimately His life. 

What did my salvation cost me:

My Marine career, cost me all of my self-righteousness, it cost me my ideas about race and culture, it cost me my dream of being a small town policeman, it cost me my angry scowl,  and it cost me headaches from worries and fears. 

Although, perhaps cost isn’t the correct term it was more like a bartering or making a trade.

My salvation was like trading a rusty old bike with flat tires for a Ford F-350 dual cab 4×4 diesel pickup truck.Your choice

Here is what I traded: 

  • I traded my unsuccessful Marine career for an education in business which inspires me. 
  • I traded my self-righteous standard that I failed to live up to, for His righteousness which empowers me to live a life free of self-condemnation. 
  • I traded my racist thoughts for deep friendships with many from other ethnic groups and an amazing and beautiful Asian wife.
  • I gave a dream of boring future in a small town for a life full of travel and adventures that fills my life with joy. 
  • I traded my angry scowl for laughter and joy beyond compare. 
  • I traded my worries and fears for His peace that pass all understanding.  
  • I traded my sin and eternal damnation for an eternal life with my CreatorThe Cross

It cost me everything that weighed me down. It cost me everything I thought I wanted.  I have received more than I could have even dreamed possible. Life is better than I could have ever hoped.  It was the best choice I have ever made.

It cost Christ everything, and it will cost us everything we think we want. The eternal reward both in heaven and on Earth is beyond our wildest fantasies.  I believe there is nothing greater than living the life you were created and designed to live.  I believe you can only find your entire purpose through knowing your Creator (The Lord Jesus Christ)

What did your salvation cost you?

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Jhaqueil Reagan: Was it luck?

Posted by on Apr 4, 2013 in Character Development, Finding Destiny | 3 comments

Jhaqueil Reagan: Was it luck?

Most of us of heard his story.  If you have not, you can read it here.  The basic story is; on a cold snowy day he got up early and walked to an interview for a minimum wage job at a thrift store.  On his way he met  Art Bouvier and asked him if he was walking in the right direction.  Mr. Bouvier gave him directions and told him he should take a bus because he still had a long way to go.  It was cold, icy, and snowy morning and most people were starting their day late due to the poor weather conditions.

After Mr. Bouvier was done clearing the snow at his business, he got in his car and left. On his drive he saw Jhaqueil, still walking towards his interview.  Mr. Bouvier stopped asked him why he wasn’t on the bus.  Jhaqueil informed him that he didn’t have money for the bus.  Mr. Bouvier drove him to the interview and asked for Jhaqueil’s phone number. Mr. Bouvier was going to offer him a job after his interview for the other job (although he kept this a secret).

Mr. Bouvier ended up hiring him.  In the interview with the local news Jhaqueil mentions he was “just lucky.”

Was it Luck?Opportunity

It may have been fortunate; however it wasn’t “just” luck.  Jhaqueil moved toward an opportunity. Mr. Bouvier didn’t knock on his door while he was playing video games and offer him a job.

Can you think of an excuse as to why you didn’t go to that interview? Here is an incomplete list:

  • It is freezing outside
  • I don’t have ride there
  • It’s only a minimum wage job
  • It is to far to walk.
  • I probably won’t get the job anyway.
  • I don’t interview well

He didn’t get the job he interviewed for at the thrift store.  That door of opportunity closed on him.  His pursuit of that job led to the job with Mr. Bouvier.  Often our excuses, laziness, indecision, and procrastination keep us on the couch.  Then we miss opportunities we would have only found on our way to a different opportunity.

How many of you have ever used a Post-it note?  That consistently consumed product that is a standard in offices and homes all over the world was an opportunity that arose from a failure.  Dr. Spencer Silver was attempting to create a super sticky and powerful adhesive and failed.  He didn’t throw away this creation; he sought a new use.  (Read more of the story on Wikipedia)

“Moving toward an opportunity will open up more opportunities”

  • You able to see new things from this new perspective
  • You might meet new people
  • You create greater opportunity to learn something new

Your journey can open the door, for a opportunity you may not of seen, thought about, or knew about.  You may meet someone who has an opportunity for you just as Jhaqueil did. The key is to begin moving toward an opportunity.

Tell us of a time you were pursuing an opportunity and had a different/better opportunity open up?

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